Discovery

(S01E03) So we started with laughable auditions and followed up with mediocre performances last week but now Bruno and Carrie Ann have picked their teams. Was last night different Did Dance War do a 180 degree turn around Not so much. Tonight was…well, it just plain stunk. I still feel like I’m watching a freaking high school musical.

Here’s an idea for ABC’s Dance War! How about spending some real money on the show Perhaps get a sound guy who actually knows how to work microphones. Perhaps get some real costumes. And perhaps get some real talent!

As I mentioned already, the sound on this show is terrible. All I hear is screaming teenagers. Ugh! And poor Chris’s mic went out completely during his solo. (But maybe we’re the fortunate ones.)

Other problems with this show I just don’t get why we need Bruno or Carrie Ann. They’re not hard on the contestants. Their coaching is all for the cameras. (Carrie Ann having Mariel call her grandmother was pathetic. Yeah, like Carrie Ann cares about you.) And they don’t choreograph anything! Why do we need them, I say!

Let’s talk a little more about that performance of Chris Brown’s “Run It” Usher’s “Yeah” where Chris’s singing was nowhere to be found. think they should stick to older songs or maybe even showtunes. These performers canNOT pull off Chris Brown (or Usher for that matter) Usher. Their rendition of S.O.S. wasn’t too great either. The concept and some of the choreography (which included some martial arts moves) was interesting but the vocals were just plain terrible. And what happened to Lacey She sounded really winded. I guess she can’t dance and sing at the same time. Even Kelsey sounded better than her. However, she did hit some of the higher notes that Charity and Kelsey can only hit in their dreams.

One piece, however, was pretty good (and define “pretty good” as “my ears didn’t bleed during the song and I didn’t feel slightly ashamed for the performers”). Carrie Ann’s team did “Call Me” and it was actually entertaining. The vocals were consistent. The choreography was fun. And the costumes were kind of cool.

So it’s been real. It’s been good. But it ain’t been real good so I’m done with Dance War. This has been a rough ride and by my count, I’ve lost five whole hours of my life to this terrible show (2 hour premiere and 2 1.5 hour episodes). Maybe someone else from the illustrious crew of bloggers here at TV Squad will pick it up but I doubt it.

I must sign off now. Adieu. I know you will miss my snarky asides, my out-and-out rants, and my massive amount of complaining about this show.