Category: 
November 7, 2007
Tired of flipping through channels to find nothing on TV?
Wondering if there is anything worthy on TV?
That makes two of us. My TV selections are very….limited.
So, how stoked was I to learn that Patrick Stump(h) from Fall Out Boy was going to be on Law and Order?
That stoked.
But then I started thinking.
We all saw what happened when another band memeber took a stab at acting.
There was alot of cheesiness in plot-lines, dialogue, and song choice. Not good, WB, not good. Thankfully Law and Order is on NBC, and has never had any bad plots or scenes filled with cornyness.
But, what if…?
I have a top-secret access to the writer’s screenplays, that are already written out.
Here are some snipets of dialogue to look forward to on Patrick’s acting “debut”
“Thanks for the memories, Detective.”
“Oh, Sugar, you’re going down.”
“Hey! Chris is my only friend!”
“This ain’t a crime scene…”
“Who are you?”
“I’m, like, a lawyer…”
“My lawyer made me change my name so I wouldn’t get sued.”
“Of all the gin joints in the world, I swear I wasnt at that one!”
“Doctors say the victim was dead on arrival.”
“Listen newbie, this is the calm before the storm”
“I’ve got a dark alley, and a bad idea that says you should shut your mouth.”
“I couldn’t have done it. I was homesick at Space Camp that day”
“It’s not a side affect of the cocaine….”
Q:”What did the ransom note say?”
A: “Sending Postcards from a plane crash, wish you were here.”
And most importantly:
The D.A. is dressed to the nines
In the mirror he practices all his lines
To his closing argument twelve hearts beat in favor
I’m guessing that he read the morning paper
The headline reads “the man hangs”, but the jury doesn’t
And everyone’s looking for relief
United States versus disbelief
Mothers cast tears on both sides of the aisle
Clear your throat and face the world
The verdict falls like bachelors for bad luck girls
Only breathing with the aid of denial.
Case open, case shut,
But you could pay to close it like a casket
Baby boy can’t lift his headache head
Isn’t it tragic? (Whoaaa-ooo)
He glances at his peers sitting seven to twelve stacked
On one to six the gallery is hushed
Boys in three pieces dream of grandstanding and bravado
The city sleeps in a cell notwithstanding what we all know
Hang on a rope or bated breath
Whichever you prefer
And everyone’s looking for relief
A bidding war for an old flame’s grief
The cause, the kid, the course, the charm, and the curse
Not a word that could make you comprehend
Too well dressed for the witness stand
The press prays for whichever headline’s worse
Case open, case shut,
But you could pay to close it like a casket
Baby boy can’t lift his headache head
Isn’t it tragic? (Whoaaa-ooo)
Fresh pressed suit and tie
Unimpressed birds sing and die
Can talk my way out of anything
The foreman reads the verdict
“In the above entitled actions we find the defendant…”
Guilty…Guilty…Guilty…Guilty…
Case open, case shut,
But you could pay to close it like a casket
Baby boy can’t lift his headache head
Isn’t it tragic?
[x2]
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