Discovery

Gerard Way’s recent admission that he just LOVES a lentil curry  got me to thinking about which 5 rock stars would be my ultimate fantasy dinner guests and which 5 would never make the list, no way, no how and not over my dead body.

It’s my party; you can come if I say so…

 Ozzy Osbourne      

Poor old Ozzy, he’s definitely past his best when it comes to class A rock stardom mostly due to class A drug consumption.  Granted if its stimulating conversation and intelligent discussion round the table im after I know I won’t get it here.  On the up side though, Ozzy has been known to consume a variety of animal delicacies from ants, to doves to bats.  So, if it all goes wrong, the dinner burns and there’s no choice but to serve it odds are, Ozzy won’t complain.

Iggy Pop                          

I know he’s too old and it’s all a bit wrong but the man likes to coat himself in peanut butter.  Then roll around on the floor.  I have fantasies about this.  Oh, and he orders broccoli from the menu just so he can throw it in the bin how much does that up his rock star kudos? 

Led Zeppelin      

This band knew all about excess.  They may not have had class when it came to food and drink but they showed a definite appreciation all the same. Dead drummer John Bonham had four quadruple vodkas and a ham roll for his last meal and apparently the band do a mean service for their groupies (with red snapper fish so the rumour goes).

All that whilst listening to a live rendition of stairway to heaven? Classic guest gold.

Dave Grohl 

He’s Dave Grohl he’s in the Foo Fighters and he hasn’t done drugs for a very long time - this man gets his kicks in a very different place.  He worships at the altar of dairy the man loves cheese and the stinkier the better.  This man is tough; he fulfils proper rock and roll credentials.  He sniffs at Cheddar, he says no! to Edam, but show him the stinking bishop, stilton or gorgonzola and he’s a monster.  A man after my very own heart. 

We could have fondue.
 

Elvis The King   

The King of what?  Cake?  I know he’s dead, but he died on the toilet as the result of his eating habits you can’t get much more rock ‘n’ roll than that!  Anyway this is a fantasy dinner party and I can invite who I like so Elvis is coming in the hope that he brings some MAN sized dessert!

You’re not on the list you’re not coming in:

Motley Crue  

This band were famous for their excessive drug use. Not my thing but fair enough, I say….different strokes for different folks and all that.  The problem I have is that when they’d used up all their drugs they took to injecting a certain big brand bourbon.  Sacrilege!  Injecting Jack Daniels?  That’s MY Jack Daniels.  And no one shall inject it!

Plus, I like to have a bit of drama with my peppered steak but killing friends on liquor runs is not cool go to the back of the queue

Jennifer Lopez   

Here is a woman who has a rider in place for a charity concert yes that’s right CHARITY.  And what is it she’s requesting?  50 dollar a piece candles.  Definitely something she can’t live without then.  Thanks a lot JLo but ill buy my own candles and you can stay at home.  Ps you can also keep the tablecloth, I wouldn’t want to ruin your outfit - looks like you like to eat cheap anyway……

Michael Bolton    

As if having the worst hair in the history of music, committing crimes against fashion, taste and ……..musical decency is not enough, the man has an irrational hatred of onions.  He doesn’t like them, wont eat them and doesn’t want to be near them because ‘they stink’ (not as much as his music though). Luckily I put onions in nearly all my dishes!

 50 Cent

He can’t come want to know why?  STOP PRESS!  50 doesn’t like beef. For a man who’s had one with everyone from Ja Rule to Kanye West, maybe he wants to rethink his choices…  And for the absolute, complete and utter failure to see the irony in his situation   the invite will not be in the post.  Don’t look out for it.

My Chemical Romance

Now this was a hard one, they might well have been on the list of people that would definitely get invites to my dinner party (Gerard likes lentil curry, I like lentil curry, Gerard likes tuna and whipped cream sandwiches, I like Gerard).  Except for a little incident involving a diner in West Virgina, food poisoning and some very scary fangirl death threats.  Its not that I don’t have faith in my own cooking but everyone can have an off day and call me picky but id like to live to my next birthday.

Now, care to share yours with me?  Leave your lists in the comments box…