Discovery

George Clooney and Leo DiCaprio are scheduled to star in “Farragut North,” a film adaptation of a politically-charged Broadway play. The movie is expected to be so freaking legitimate, it will vaporize any mob activity or off-book employees within a five mile radius of the theater.Madonna has signed a $120 million recording and touring deal with Live Nation Inc. Five years from now, the only physical cds on the market will be Madonna duetting with Coldplay with random bonus tracks off Aerosmith’s Greatest Hits albums.A drunken Joaquin Phoenix told the New York Times that he doesn’t prepare for roles, adding “All you have to do is . . . stand in the right spot and say the line.” He later reneged, saying that he prefers the Meisner school of acting to the Costner one.Brian De Palma is furious at Mark Cuban, claiming the financier censored his Iraq War movie; Cuban responded, “I’m sorry, but does the Bush character really have to open his speech with ‘you’re all M-Fing N-words?’”Eva Mendes hopped into the wrong limousine, but realized what she did, exited, and laughed at her mistake. This is the most sinister, noteworthy story since the time Victoria Beckham picked up the wrong drink then realized it a couple seconds later.