Discovery

Well, the Yanks choked in the playoffs again, and guess who was right in the middle of everything? Surprise surprise, it’s Captain Chokey McChokerson himself, Derek “Gaudy Regular Season Stats” Jeter.

Sure, Jeter may have great regular season stats, but regular season games don’t actually count for anything, and if you do well in them and don’t win the World Series, it is somehow insulting. Since being named Captain in 2003, Captain Chokerson has captained the Yankees’ ship into is five straight gut-wrenching playoff exits, going 6-for-30 in the Yanks’ collapse against the Red Sox in ‘04, a paltry 3-for-11 in Games 2-4 of the ‘06 Division Series (Yankees lost all three games), and reached new heights in ‘07, managing 3 singles in 17 at-bats while striking out four times and grounding into three double plays.

Why does this happen? Simple. Jeter can’t handle the pressure of playing in New York City. Oh, he can slug it away during the regular season when he’s in front of a crowd of 70,000 fans at Yankee Stadium, but when he’s in the playoffs in front of a crowd of 72,000 fans at Yankee Stadium, he presses too much, and he’s not mentally tough, and he does a bunch of other things that I’m definitely not making up in retrospect.

Baseball in the postseason is a completely different game; I’m pretty sure they don’t even use the same bats and balls. The only thing that constitutes any form of success is that World Series ring, and if you can’t will yourself into clutchness like the legendary ‘03 Marlins and the ‘06 Cardinals, then you are a failure who hurts your team and should be traded because you make a lot of money. It’s not like they give an award for “Most Valuable Player in the Regular Season,” do they?

I’m sure a lot of stats geeks will whine “oh, you can’t judge a player based on a random sampling of less than 20 at-bats, especially when he’s been so productive over his 2000+ AB career,” but how many of them ever played the game? None, that’s how many. And I never did either but I’m right.

Let’s just hope the Yanks can work out an extension with A-Rod so they can finally end their crippling seven year World Series draught. Man, it’s really tough to be a Yankee fan.